Hi Heaviness

by Yarsky

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1.
Father plows the earth; a garden he built A thread he left and I unraveled his quilt I followed peasants, I took counsel from them all Got a shadow on the wall The singer I wish to join He's muted by a coin Us gamblers had idols to command and sustain Chance itself failed us once again The spoils of battle, his trophies never shine Oh my guardian He was a friend of mine I am a dormant geyser, I am an architect's only son Oh the house that was built for me, the erosion has begun From all the flooded rubble, from the sea it's this I learn Whether brick or stone or god or flesh, to ashes we shall return
2.
Lonely romantic, you weigh your heart in pounds Bet on the bitches you’ve mounted on the wall Puppet without strings, sew your stitches shut Follow your threads and count the murmurs They’re big and a burden to your brain Howl at the clouds for the rain Being a half of one can make you insane To count shattered glass through a windowpane Penniless preacher, clinging to a cliff If you want forgiveness, scratch your name out of the sand Do you feel the air that wanders through your hands? Is it new to you, or is it torn and stale? The stuff of legend or some kind of old wives’ tale? It smears the light; it inverts the world so it’s all right Revived by a magic spell you had to fight
3.
I'm going where The sparks are kind Where brightness can Choose to be blind Where gentle prayer Won't hesitate The sun of course Will never brake The grains that see the wars unheard The ink of treaties afterward Flows like sand always deferred The hourglass Counts what we say Where honor lives Its lonesome day Don't succumb to this universe Where diamonds will freely disperse If you push forward you will just get cursed So simply turn around and live in reverse
4.
(instrumental)
5.
Madrid 04:28
I want to take you on a flight to Madrid We could try to make sense of the road signs Maybe drive past the castles And stare at the beaming lights All I need are tickets to Madrid A suitcase and a wallet filled with cash All I need are reservations All I need are tickets to Madrid We could hug each other or settle for shaking hands Relax on separate beds in the hotel room Serve up margaritas, nice and chilled We could kiss While we’re on the plane, I’ll be watching you sleep As you piece together a dream Travel across the ocean for something new But some things still aren’t possible in Spain
6.
I Was A King 03:46
The king resigns Thrown in the gorge The cold shuts his ears The kindness is still Smoke grays his hair The ash dissolves Black river, be blessed This velvet flame And in my own waking My eyes are sore The blur from the window The closing of the door With it comes the naming With it comes burnt flesh We are our own creations We are hungriness So we keep on with our killing It’s in our design When mountains will roll away And the sea tastes like wine Here I stitch my bed of mud Here I sew where I lay The figure that held my shape Its meaning slipped away Here I walk on scalding sand Here I can’t embrace your shade Where sunshine slips backwards Where adventures are made The king arrives Where time kills time
7.
If I'd found love in the harbors Found love in freezing night Let my blood make obscure This new vision that I am yours A new vision I shall endure Please free me of your designs Take off your coat, pull down the blinds Reap the fruits of tenderness before I am found I hope one day to stand above All my debts to fear and love But I shy away from that thunderous sound I need time for resignation I need time to tell the skeptics no Their voices ring within my chest and tell me with a tremor, "Neither choice nor fate shall warm the blood through a stormy December." Our veins begin to crumble Like the phantoms of the jungle They ignite a gentle candle with a whisper in its twine The body's a revolution And love's the hapless solution To this vicious young gamble of funerals & swine I need time for wounds to gather I need time for seeds to sow Between muscle and bone is a justice that's godless but required Chasing away these visions leaving me nothing but cruel desire To think I might invest in another To watch his flesh scratch itself to dust Seems wrong to rope someone into that process Yet my inner voice demands to call it trust Perhaps one day I'll have the strength to tell Of how survivors bid farewell
8.
Waste our time reading fake news Scared of an honest headline Found for sale a house of ill repute Do you see my face on the sign? I guarantee it’s mine The whistle of a ghost downstairs A hymnal we pretend to share Lost in the ice below The compass was a thread of hair For the shipwreck that sailed him there It’s an illusion of order A negative peace A whim you set your eyes upon It preserves your strength til it’s gone It’s in the absence of release I’m the ash below the sepulchre The gavel in the mock trial I’m the silence in the eulogy The flinch behind your smile What a smile

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released October 31, 2012

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Yarsky Los Angeles, California

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